The Anti-Social Media

Want to survive the harsh world of social media? Feel like you’re being crushed under the weight of thousands of tweets, Facebook updates, and YouTube updates of adorable cat videos? I hate to break it to you, but you are suffering under a mountain of never ending content.

Thanks to the internet, we now publish more content daily than anyone could ever hope to read in their lifetime. Every minute, another 24 hours of video is published to YouTube alone. It’s futile to try and keep up with everything. There just isn’t enough time.

So, take a break.

We aren’t built to be in a world of endless communication and updates. Give yourself time away from the buzz and hubbub.  You’ll appreciate the tools more when you come back to them, and realize how much you never needed them to begin with.

Finding a the time of the day when you check on Facebook, Twitter or blogs makes the constant flow of information bearable. Set limits. Avoid your smartphone when you can.

Think you can’t do it? Need a day to start with? Try starting with Christmas Day. All you’ll be missing is people sharing their gifts and well wishes. Really, you’re not missing too much, and no one will think you’re a grinch if you don’t tweet Merry Christmas. Well, at least I won’t.

Take a social media vacation. The people around you will be glad to see your face once again.

If you need a personal brand, you’re doing it wrong.

Be yourself online.

You can be your best self. You can be your worst self. But whoever you are, be YOUR self.

No one will believe you if pretend to be a hot blonde with a bubbly personality anyways.

The internet isn’t a nice place. People act on their primal instincts. You’re only 5 clicks away from porn at any point. Trolls lurk beneath every comment box. Guys like me publish blogs that routinely have titles like “I hate Facebook.”

And you wonder why you despise human contact.

The internet, like everywhere else in the world, is what you make of it. If you want it to be a sewer of terrible information and hatred, then go ahead and let the internet be that cesspool. Write with anger. Reply only with bitterness. Be jealous of everyone who has ten more Facebook friends than you.

But if you want it to get better, you’re going to have to actually do something. Problems only get better when you take action. Sometimes that something is complaining, but in the noise of the internet, most people aren’t going to care about one more angry tweet or a grumbling Facebook status. And if anger and pessimism aren’t the solution, there’s only one other option.

Be nice.

Even if it hurts to smile, if you don’t have anything nice to say, if you’d rather tear someone’s intestines out and make them jump rope with them while you watch and giggle in sadistic pleasure, be the better person. It’s easier to like someone when they aren’t pissing people off or going around starting fights. People want to work with and help people who behave rationally and treat other people with respect. And if we all take a moment to stop acting like greedy animals, we learn and grow more from one another. Crazy, isn’t it?

The internet is more fun when we aren’t having fun at someone’s expense, unless that person is Mark Zuckerberg. Take the time to slap on a smile and a somewhat charming personality. Who knows? People may actually like you if you aren’t baiting them to anger at every turn.

Face it. If you’re anything like most of us American slobs, one of your many overambitious New Year’s resolutions will be to lose weight.

You’re not going to lose those extra thirty pounds because the calendar changed from 2010 to 2011 and you took two extra walks around the cul-de-sac. You can though, take charge of all the crap you’re seeing online.

It only takes a few minutes to unfollow the people who have been driving you nuts. Drop them as Facebook friends, or block their posts from appearing in your newsfeed. If you’re really unsure, put them on a list somewhere you can check into, and check it only when absolutely necessary.  You’ll learn quickly you’re not missing out on much besides that someone used Twitter from the toilet once again.

Save yourself the stress and disgust. Take the ten minutes and get rid of the crap and human pollution in your online life.  This social media cleanse makes time for those real relationships you want to keep alive, and maybe if you cut enough people out you might be able to make some time to get to the gym.

Enjoy the freedom from the tyranny that is online “friendship.” Your friend from middle school you never kept in touch with anyways won’t be too upset.