Google is the “Screech” of Social Media

Did you ever watch Saved by the Bell? I grew up watching Saved by the Bell with my older brother and sister. The two of them were much hipper and with it than I could ever be, and thus gave me the glowing title of “Screech” after the younger, most awkward character on the show. Thankfully, I eventually grew up to be a normal social media nerd, however normal that may be.

Google is the Screech social media. While Google is older than the other social websites, it is much more awkward. Google hangs around the cool kids, Twitter (A.C. Slater), LinkedIn (Jessie), Facebook (Zach), but it doesn’t really fit in with them. It doesn’t get how to actually connect with people in any meaningful and natural way. They only keep Google around because they need it. Whereas the others have clear strategies and methods of connecting people, Google instead uses crazy hair-brained schemes that seem better suited to a Looney Tunes cartoon.

For example, take Google’s latest social media offering, +1. +1 is the worst method of implementing a social recommendation to search ever. +1 asks you to rate the items your search, but does so on the search page. I don’t know about you, but usually, I only go back to the search page when I can’t find the answers I’m looking for.

I’m not going to go back to the search page to click a button and recommend something to my friends. I especially won’t do this because I often search for weird things that I don’t want my friends to know I’m looking for. Sure, it would be nice if I was always searching for “Vacations in Hawaii” or “Delicious Italian Recipes,” but instead I usually end up search for weird obscure things that my friend’s don’t want to know about.

So the next step would be to add a +1 button to your site. And at this point, I’m worried. Do we really need another crappy button on our sites just to appease the great and awkward Google? What if +1 fails as epically as Google Buzz? Will Google hold onto it awkwardly, or will it just completely phase +1 out? Will I need to keep that button on there to raise my SEO? What if no one uses the button?

Google is run by a bunch of nerds, which is a good thing. However, these nerds will never figure out how to be social. Google needs to stop trying to make a social network and social aspects to their products, and instead just keep improving what they do best. Otherwise, Google will end up a washed up search engine on VH1 reality shows, desperately trying to cling to relevance.