It’s Friday, which means it’s time for FUN FUN FUN! It also means it’s another day when I recommend what is the best thing on the internet ever!
However, it’s so hard to choose just one thing every week. It seems like every week, things just keep getting better and better online. Everything is more social, and everything is happier. Facebook is put into more things, and more things are put into Facebook, so I don’t have to worry about anything.
Life is awesome. Except for one tiny problem.
With so many awesome things and awesome people, how do I choose just one person to recommend? How am I supposed to choose whether I recommend someone who’s smart and funny, or someone who shares hundreds of links? Why do I have to choose between a Quora expert and a Facebook genius? Do I need to share a Twitter fanatic, or someone who has mastered LinkedIn? Thankfully, I have a simple solution.
Follow everyone.
If you follow and friend everyone, you won’t miss anything! You’ll have all the information there for you to see at any time. Start by connecting to thousands of people today. That way, you’ll miss even less awesome things tomorrow, when you start following even more people.
This plan is foolproof. You will be a rockstar ninja master of social media. You can’t go wrong by following indiscriminately.
Do you already follow everyone? How awesome is it? Do you learn everything you ever wanted to know and them some? Are you the most popular person on the internet? Tell us how it is while the rest of us go start following every single account ever created.
We won’t miss your conversation. We’ll be following it!
Happy April Fools’ Day to you too, Jay.
Every day in April is happy!
totally unfollowing your blog
Don’t worry! I’ll still follow you!
You seem almost chipper today. Is that your April fool’s joke?
What joke? I’m like this every day!
I am on it, Jay. I’m going to follow everyone, starting with you. And not just online — in real life, too.
Please do! I need a small group of people following me all the time!
Yesterday, I decided not to follow a follower whose avatar had a gun in it. I think I am very discerning and superior.
But if you don’t follow that gun, how will it protect you from other users with guns? The only way to be safe is to follow all the guns!
Safety in numbers
I wish I could follow everyone twice. Twice is nice.
Twice IS nice! You could create a second account and follow everyone with that!
Dude, you’re hilarious. I started reading your posts (kinda cause I had to for a senior level communication class called “social media relevance”) and now i can’t stop reading. I’m with you on this one, I have more Facebook “friends” then I have “actual” friends. I just keep hitting confirm and never talk to them again… now I have to weed out the people I don’t talk to just to find the people that i want to send a message to. I had the same problem with the beginning of P2P’s like Napster… download everything, just in case… now i have Celine Dion’s French album for no reason… but i better not delete it just in case i need it.
Celine Dion’s French album is the most important one of all! If you get rid of it, how will you ever understand her English?
Make sure to link all your accounts to Foursquare. That way everyone in the world knows your exact location 24/7. This isn’t a safety or privacy concern. It makes you cool.
Oh yeah! Everyone needs to know exactly where I am at all times!
I’m totally willing to sacrifice my safety for that sweet Super Mayor badge.
ME TOO!
It’s kinda making ill, all this positivity…
Will you feel better if I give you a great big hug?!
Oh man, I was actually scared there for a second. It was all happy gum drops and I got all sad for a second!
Though today is April 2nd…so I’m kinda behind. But uh….Touche, Jay. Touche.
Or something.
I just got really excited for Friday.